Just thinking...

So, what is your definition of a friend? I have learned over the years, that my definition of a word isn't always everyone else's definition.

My definition of a friend: Someone who you love, listen to, and are there for and they do those same things in return. Someone who will always tell you the truth even when it hurts. Someone you can call up at 3 AM and cry to for hours, even when they have to be at work the next morning, Someone who will call you out when your in the wrong, but love you anyway and vice versa. Among many other things.

I've learned a lot about loyalty over the years, someone who is there for you no matter what. Someone you can BET on that's gonna have your back. But as we grow up we establish new friendships. We grow apart of some we have held on to for years. It's part of life and it's part of growing up. I wouldn't trade my friendships for the world, at the same time we have to stand on the side of right and wrong. Don't stand by and let someone get hurt. Do what's right by everyone, not just by your friend. Put them in their place if they are doing wrong. That's what you're there for. We all want to use that same old line, "mind your own business" but if roles were reversed, wouldn't you want someone watching out for you??

Unpredictable life.

So, let me to tell you about my week..
I'm writing this after being awake for 27 hours to start things off, Kensley started yesterday with sinus junk and coughed and cried all night last night. Sick babies mean no sleep for mommy. I had my very first parent/teacher meeting last night, wow. I don't even like saying that, time goes way faster than you think. Got side swiped this morning by some one that didn't even bother to stop, to get out of her car, or to see if I was okay, much less, "Hey, here's my insurance info since I just hit you!" I drove after her so I could get her tag number. I finally decided once I took a picture on my phone to stop and see how much damage had been done, because her car had a huge dent and scratch half way down it. I was crying hysterically like a crazy person thinking, this is just what else I need, when it rains, it pours, why me, etc. When I walked around my car, not a scratch on it. All I could do was laugh, and thank God. I firmly believe it's because I've spend most of the night talking with God. Like I said, I 've been up all night, no sleep at all. I did a lot of praying and readying my bible. Good things happen when I do this... A few weeks ago, I had some things stolen from the house, found out who took them, and filed a police report this week. I have been so livid about the whole situation, I have not acted the way that I should have. I haven't prayed about it, which should have been the first thing I did. Last night I prayed about it, and I feel comfort over the entire situation. God has a plan, and it will all work out. On top of all that, at least one or two days a week I get in a funk. I miss my mom. I miss my brother. I want them home. I cry. I'm sad. There are so many days I want to pick up the phone after a week like this and vent to my mother. But there are 7 hours difference so when I'm getting off work and can actually call and vent it's midnight there. It sucks. It really sucks. But God let's everything happen for a reason, and I firmly believe them being over there is what's best right now. With that being said, I only have 22 days until I see them for a few days!!!!

Life is crazy and so unpredictable. If you had told me I would be here 6 months ago, I would have said YOU ARE CRAZY. I would have said a lot of things 6 months ago, that aren't true today. But, hey, that's life right?
Thankfuly I have God, and a few good friends that I keep up entirely too late at night venting to, that makes things a little easier!

I’ve pulled up my blog many times to write, and then ended up deleting it or just clicking the “X” at the top of the page.

I haven’t liked the person that I’ve been over the past few weeks and I’ve caught myself realizing it more and more. It’s time I stop, take a breath and step back a minute.  No since in going back down the road I’ve been on, I’ve back slid enough. If you know me, or even if you don’t and you read my blog then you know I don’t do patient. At all. Last night, after a long, stressful, eventful day, I was ready for bed at dusk, my very whiny, tired, exhausted 4 year old wasn’t helping my mood at all. She is 4 going on 14 and every bit of a diva. My fault, I know. So last night after telling her to pick up her toys, and stop throwing her dolls around, she ends up knocking over a drink and a LIT candle. Both spilled everywhere and I. LOST. IT. First of all, I had told her to STOP throwing stuff, and obliviously she doesn’t listen and the end result is mommy mad, Kensley crying,  and a huge mess. After she went to bed last night and the mess was clean, I remembered my reaction to earlier in the night and I cried. I was ashamed. I pulled out my “unglued” book and started at the beginning. I have to figure out this whole patience thing before it is the death of me.  A very special person in my life tells me all the time, “you’re going to miss this” . How true that is. I miss her being little. I know you may think she still is, but she’s smarter than some of my co-workers. Not kidding. I miss the days she couldn’t talk, or walk, I miss the cute little faces she use to do. She is just way too big! I have my very first “parent-teacher conference” tomorrow. Yes, I just said that. Point is, I blinked and 4 years have flown by and it’s bittersweet, but heartbreaking too. I wish there were so many times I could go back over the past 4 years and do-over. Oh, if do-overs were real.

Yesterday, my cousin tweeted, about how beautiful the drive was from Tuscaloosa to Centreville, something I never noticed before. It’s cleaning up after my beautiful, smart, healthy child spills something, and not overacting, because so many people would kill for the opportunity to do that. It’s going to see my great grandmother, and letting Kenlsey get to know her because not many people get say they know and remember there great- great-grandmother. It’s playing Madden with your little brother because you never know how much you’ll miss that when you go 10 months without having the opportunity to. It’s about saying I’m sorry when you should, because you never know the next time you might have a chance to make it right. It’s about thanking God for the things you forget to.  Because I don’t thank him nearly enough, and take way too many things for granted. In writing this I’m overwhelmed with all my many blessings from God and thankful for he has given me.

I'm really, really going to try and be a better blogger, and not  be so sporadic with it.